Detention Days
by crimson canary
Summary: IYYYH crossover. When Kagome ends up in detention, she meets a certain spiky-haired demon... HieiKag
1. Day 1: Detention Days

**Disclaimer: **No, I don't own IY... or YYH.  Forgive my atrocious spellings of some of the names...

**                                                                                                                            Detention Days**

Kagome sat in her desk, doodling all over her test.  _I wish that I had had the time to study.  _Silently, she cursed Inuyasha for refusing to let her return home until after they possessed that particularly annoying Jewel shard.  Now here she was, about to fail another test because she didn't even have the time to glance over the material.  _No more Ramen for you, Dog-Boy._  

With a start, she realized that a familiar visage had taken form on her paper, and she immediately scribbled it out with a grumble.  However, that wasn't enough.  _Oh, no.  Not for you, Inu.  _Her scribbling became more intent, until the paper was dripping with black ink and her pen was dry.  Now she seized the pen like a knife and began stabbing his likeness, hoping that back in the Feudal Era he was feeling every bit of her furious stabbing.

She didn't even realize that she was snarling, "When I get my hands on you, Inu..." until the teacher said, "Higurashi!  Can't you be silent?  Some of the other students might want to take the test!"

Kagome laughed nervously, trying to vanish into her desk, slowly sinking downwards.  The teacher simply glared at her and said, "That's it, Higurashi.  I don't care how sick you are.  You will be spending this afternoon with me, in detention."  Kagome came back out from behind the desk, staring at her test with a blank expression in her eyes.  _Detention?  Me?  But I'm a good girl!_

She began silently repeating, "I'm a good girl." while staring at her test.  Well, now it looked more like a huge inkblot, but that really didn't matter.

*~*~*

Cautiously, Kagome made her way into the detention room, still mouthing, "I'm a good girl," repeatedly.  She was afraid.  Very afraid.  And with good reason, too.  In detention, there were mostly people like her, who had just made an honest mistake, but there were also the dreaded "Regulars", kids whose entire school education consisted of how to leave detention without getting caught.  Or how best to be the "top-dog" in the detention room.  It really depended upon the student.  She had only been to detention once before, back when she had first started going through the well.  Just that once had been horrible, and she had only been given an hour.  Now she had an entire afternoon to spend with these loonies.  She would be lucky if she made it out alive.

Forgetting the most important lesson she had learned about the room's hierarchy during her brief detention session, Kagome sat down in the nearest chair she could find, between a huge fellow who towered over her and a smelly guy who seemed intent on picking the grime out of his crusty, green fingernails.

"Move your ass, girl.  Someone's sitting there," a voice boomed, coming from the direction of the lump of flesh that sat beside her.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't notice anyone's things here when I sat down," Kagome tried to explain.

"So, you trying to get out of moving?  I'll teach you a lesson!" A fleshy hand raced towards her face, causing Kagome to cringe and close her eyes.

When the fist didn't make contact, Kagome ventured to open her eyes, seeing that a boy dressed in black had stopped the gargantuan beast's hand, catching it with his own, and was currently engaged in a staring contest with the monster.  Despite her savior's smaller size, her attacker backed down immediately, and in the blink of an eye, the boy in black had returned to his seat.

Not wanting to cause any more trouble, she gathered her things and walked over towards the spiky-haired boy who had saved her from a black eye and broken nose.  Kagome should have known better; there was a wide circle of empty desks surrounding him, and he had a wild look in his eyes.  Even if she had failed to notice this, there was his size.  He was hardly taller than Kagome, and that was always a bad sign.  The Chihuahuas can sometimes be more vicious than the Great Danes.

Poor Kagome took a seat right next to him, only then noticing the looks that she was receiving from the other Detentionees.  They seemed to say, "It's your funeral..."  She shrugged off the chill that came with the looks and pulled out some homework.  _Might as well get some studying done._

She decided to start with math, her most difficult subject.  Pulling out her math book, she began to examine it meticulously, trying to understand the subject, which she could tell had something to do with graphing, as the title of the chapter stated plainly.  That was the only clear thing about the math, though.  Trying to understand the concept was like trying to find a needle in a haystack, literally.  There was a series of completely un-related numbers (as far as Kagome could tell) and she had yet to find the graphs that had been promised by the title of the chapter.  

She growled softly as she began her math homework, hoping that her shaky comprehension of the concept would prove adequate to complete the assignment.  No such luck.  And doing the work itself wasn't helping, either.  It just made her head hurt more.  Feeling eyes watching her, she turned to her side, just in time to see the black-haired boy seated beside her turn his head to face the front of the classroom quickly.

Returning to her homework, she decided to figure math out later.  _Perhaps in the Feudal Era._  She would have plenty of time to do it then, and she always needed something to distract her from her arguments with Inuyasha.  Quickly, she pulled out the next-hardest assignment, generously given to her by her chemistry teacher, who seemed convinced that she taught Kagome's only class, as was proven by her habit assigning an inhuman amount of homework. 

Sighing with relief at the abnormally light amount of work she had been given, Kagome whipped out her binder and shuffled through her papers until she came upon the worksheet that was her homework.  She took a single look at it and swore violently, trying to keep her voice down.  It was thirty problems, and they all involved the one chemistry concept she couldn't seem to grasp: molar mass.  For you non-chemistry people, the molar mass of a substance is the mass of one mole of that substance.  And by mole, I don't mean the furry mammal.

Kagome put the chemistry away as swiftly as she had pulled it out.  It would have to wait for the Feudal Era.  For some odd reason, Miroku had picked up on chemistry after she had complained one day and shown him a bit.  Now he understood it better than her teacher, and the woman was a professional, too.  He could explain the stuff for her in a way she could understand.

Finally, she settled for the easier assignments; she had a never-ending amount of them, make-up work for all the days she had missed.  As she took out her History homework, she caught the black-haired boy looking at her again, but she chose to ignore it.

*~*~*

It was dark by the time Kagome was free.  After that first threat, everything had been rather dull, or at least as dull as a day in detention could be.  When one has been to the Feudal Era, everything seems less exciting.  She hadn't even spoken to her rescuer.  _I don't even know his name..._ She sighed.  _Tomorrow I'll ask him.  Or maybe the next day.  I have an entire week, after all._

That teacher of hers had said that she would only be there for the day, but apparently, that was just an expression.  She had an entire week of detention, and if she didn't shape up soon, it might be more.  _I might become one of the dreaded "Regulars."  _She shuddered at the thought.

Suddenly, she saw black, spiked hair peeking over a nearby wall (think Jaws).  She knew that hair.  Kagome broke into a run, catching the boy from before with a warm, "Hello!"

"Hn," he responded, turning the air around them to ice.

"I just wanted to say thanks for earlier."

"Stupid ningen.  Don't provoke them, and they will ignore you."  He sounded cold and arrogant.  _Like a human version of Sessoumaru._

"I didn't know I was upsetting them... That's the problem."

"Well, you have a whole week to correct the error.  Now, I have better things to do than talk to some stupid girl."  He turned on his heel and walked away.  "And by the way," he called over his shoulder.  "I do not appreciate your sitting beside me.  Do it again and I promise that you will regret it."

Kagome was accustomed to such threats.  She received them on a daily basis from Inuyasha, weekly from Naraku, and monthly from Sessoumaru.  If anything, threats made her more comfortable around a person, rather than driving her away, which was probably why she hollered, "What is your name?" after him with no regard whatsoever to her life.  "I'm Kagome!"

He ignored her and kept on walking.  _Fine.  Be that way.  I'll ask you tomorrow._

*~*~*

"Well?  Did you find what we are seeking?" a red-head asked a boy that Kagome would have recognized as her nameless helper.

"Do you think that I would be here if I had found him, Kurama?" the boy responded with a snarl.

"I was simply making certain, Hiei."

"Hn.  Baka."

"Do not call me names."

"If you were not always so busy with this 'studying', we might have found him sooner," Hiei snapped.

"I intend to get passing grades in school," his red-headed companion informed him.  "You, on the other hand, spend all of your time in detention.  Do you possess no tact?"

"Hmph.  Do you have any idea what I have to endure from those damn humans?"

"You forget that you are in the presence of one of these 'damn humans' as you so delicately phrased it," Kurama said in a frustratingly distant voice.

Ignoring his companion's comment, Hiei proceeded to relate the day's happenings, beginning with how he had been involved in three fights that day, none of which had been his fault (riiiight...), moving on to how idiotic the teachers were and how dull their soliloquies were, and finally finishing with a girl named "Kagome" and what an annoying creature she was.

"In short, she will be there tomorrow, and she will sit next to me again, I know it," he finished.

"Do not let it bother you.  The one we seek is far more important than these petty quarrels," Kurama said in an effort to comfort his friend.

"Hn.  Koenma must think that this 'Shikon Jewel' is quite important, for him to send us seeking it like he has."

"Indeed."


	2. Day 2: A Boy Named Kuroi

**Disclaimer: **Nope.  Don't own any of 'em.  Though Christmas is coming up, and maybe...

**A Boy Named Kuroi**

Hiei sat in detention, wondering why he had bothered to come at all.  These humans could do nothing to reinforce their orders; if he wanted, he could burn through them as a flame through paper.  He glanced out the window at a large oak tree.  It had thick, leafy foliage, and would provide an ideal spot for observation.  _I should be there.  Not trapped in here, enduring their silly punishments._  He silently cursed the sly kitsune who had coerced him into coming here to begin with.

The click of a door-handle turning and the sudden quickening of the air in the room informed him of a new presence in the room.  He didn't even need to use his eyes to know that it was Kagome.  She was the only ningen that could emit such a purely annoying aura.

She bounced in, sitting beside him.  "Good afternoon!" she exclaimed jovially.  Hiei mentally groaned.  How had he gotten himself into this again?

_The Spirit Detectives walked out of Koenma's office feeling dazed.  Certainly, they had had to digest quite a bit all at once, but it had never been quite like this._

_"Wait," Yusuke said.  "Koenma said we're supposed to get this 'Shikon Jewel' at all costs?  I wonder why."_

_"I can not explain why, but perhaps I may impart what little knowledge I possess of it," Kurama responded smoothly, the intelligent one as always._

_"Go on."_

_"The Shikon Jewel is a powerful artifact.  I do not know much concerning its origins, but it is said that the Jewel can grant a wish to whoever uses it.  This explains why many unsavory characters are after the Jewel.  If it were to fall into the wrong hands..." Kurama trailed off, leaving the rest to their imaginations._

_Presently, Yusuke spoke.  "Why would he want us to get it from its protector?  I mean, if he was doing a bad job, we'd all be in a lot of trouble right now, wouldn't we?"_

_"Baka.  I am certain that Koenma has his reasons," Hiei supplied._

_"You raise an interesting point, Yusuke.  There may be more to this situation than meets the eye," Kurama murmured, clearly lost in thought._

_"What I can't believe is that the three of us," Yusuke indicated himself, Kuwabara, and Kurama, "have to change schools just for this!"_

_"It does make sense, though.  If the protector of the Shikon Jewel is at one of these schools, it will be much easier to find him if we are one of his classmates," Kurama explained, his eyes immediately glazing over in deep musing as soon as he was finished._

_"Hn.  Knowing you three, you will most likely never find this 'protector'.  You, Urameshi, are too busy getting into fights.  Kitsune, you are constantly followed by ningen women.  And Kuwabara..." Hiei trailed off, glancing at the oversized idiot, who had made puppets out of his hands, which were now fighting a Battle Royale._

_"... is too stupid to do anything right?" Yusuke finished._

_"I suppose that you think you could do better, Hiei?" Kurama asked.  He was finished pondering over whatever it was, because his voice had lost its distanced quality._

_"I could find the Shikon Jewel in a day and finish this case in a week," Hiei snorted disdainfully._

_"Well, then.  In that case..." Yusuke said, a dark smile lighting his face._

_Before Hiei knew what was happening, he had been whisked away, and the next thing he knew, he was at school, searching for the Shikon Jewel.  Only after their conversation had Hiei realized that his companions (well, at least Kurama and Yusuke) had planned the whole thing all along..._

Hiei looked at his desk, a snarl etched on his face.  It had been two months since that conversation, and nearly the same amount of time since his first day of school.  There was still no sign of the Shikon Jewel.  It was almost depressing.

Suddenly, he turned, feeling eyes boring into the back of his head.  Not literally, but the starer's gaze was so intense that he almost felt like that.  His eyes caught two blue ones, the silky, midnight blue of the ocean, not the average watery weakness that so often colored human's eyes.  The person behind these eyes had determination and strength.  The person behind those eyes had courage and an iron will.  The person behind those eyes... was Kagome Higurashi.  As soon as he realized this, Hiei balked, giving the girl one of his patented "Glare of Death"s before returning his attention to the surface of his desk.

Her pale hand, soft and flawless, slid into his line of vision, leaving a single folded piece of binder paper behind.  Hiei stared at it angrily for a moment, then picked it up to read it.  Shooting her irate looks now and again, he gently unfolded the paper, seeing a long note written in a neat, prim script that reminded him of Keiko.

"How long have you been at this school?" The note began.  "It's just that I haven't really seen you around campus much.  Do you spend most of your time in detention?  Because if you do, that's probably why I haven't seen you.  I'm a good girl.  I am.  I'm a very good girl..." The letter repeated this phrase for about a half-page, causing Hiei to wonder about the girl's mental health.  He skimmed down it, and continued to read.  

"What's your name, anyway?  You never told me yesterday!  If you don't tell me your name, I might make one up for you, and you wouldn't like that, trust me.  You already know that I'm Kagome.  Kagome Higurashi.  Yup.  That's me.

"Do you fight often?  Because if you don't you should really consider trying a fighting tournament or something.  You're real fast.  I wish I was that fast.  Then I could keep up with my friends.  

"By the way... do you think you would not stare over my shoulder anymore?  It's very distracting and I'm trying to get studying done.  Study, study, study!  'Cause I'm a good girl!"  Hiei finished reading, giving Kagome a suspicious glance, then pulled out a pen and scrawled, "My name is none of your concern, and neither are any of the other items which you requested.  I will tell you, however, that if you do not cease these annoyances, I will most certainly be forced to harm you."

Hiei passed the note back to her discreetly, wondering why he was bothering.  Not as though she would notice the gesture.

She saw the message, picked it up, and read hungrily.  Disappointment showed clearly on her features as she looked at him.  When she returned the message, it read, "Fine.  Don't tell me your name.  I'll call you Kuroi, because you seem to wear black often."

_Kuroi.  What a silly nickname._  Hiei mentally snorted.

*~*~*

Kagome walked out of detention, wondering what had possessed her to bother him like that.  She had continued passing him notes until the teacher had finally caught them... and added lunch detentions for the remainder of the week.  She had known that she needed to speak with Inuyasha before, but now she knew that she had no choice in the matter.  Sooner or later, he would come looking for her.  It would be best if she told him "politely" that she needed to spend the remainder of her week in her own time, and she would prefer that it was in the Feudal Era.

By the time she was home, she knew exactly what she was going to tell him.  Even though they didn't have detention back in his time, she was still ashamed to admit that her perfect record had been marred by it.  He probably didn't even know what detention was.

She walked outside and hopped over the edge of the well.  Briefly, she was surrounded by the familiar lights that signaled a time change, and then there she was, on the other side.  She crawled out of the well, heading in the direction of Kaede's village.  The sky was darkening, but she chose to ignore the fact that demons lurked just beyond the shadows, waiting for the perfect instant to pounce...

"Kagome!"  Speaking of demons, here was one now: a small, brown ball of fur that was currently hurtling towards her at an abnormally fast rate.  Upon impact, her adopted kit knocked the wind out of her.

"Nice to see you, too, Shippo," she said with a grin.  "Have you seen Inuyasha anywhere?  I need to talk with him."

"Feh.  Right here, wench," her dog-like friend announced, hopping down from a tree.

"Hey, Inuyasha.  We need to talk..." Kagome began.

Inuyasha took a step forward.  "No."

"Awww... C'mon, Inu.  It's only a week!" Kagome whined.

"Still no."

He was resilient.  Time to go to plan B.  "SIT!  Be back in a week!  SIT!  Don't come after me!  SIT!  Have fun while I'm away!  SIT!  And did I already say... SIT!!!"

Kagome turned away from the crater her friend had just made.  "Shippo, could you tell the others please?"

"Certainly, Kagome!" he responded, hopping off.

Kagome hopped back down the well, a smile on her face.  Now she could serve her detention without having to worry about the past.


	3. Day 3: Roast Beef

**Disclaimer: **I don't own IY, YYH, or anything else of value, unless pocket lint is worth something...

**Roast Beef**

Kagome sat in detention, bored to death.  Since her days in the Feudal Era had commenced, she had become adept at getting the maximum amount of work done in the minimum amount of time, meaning that by day two she had caught up on her late assignments from her days of "disease."

She wished that her little spiky-haired friend was in here.  The angry glares and evil looks he gave her always made detention fun.  Especially yesterday, when they had been passing notes back and forth.  He had, of course, been quite rude in his responses, but she doubted that Inuyasha would have responded at all.  She sighed, realizing that the hanyou had certainly lowered her standards for boys.  Before her visits to the past had commenced, she wouldn't have looked at "Kuroi" twice.

She was seated in what was usually the little fellow's seat, which was directly beside the only window in the room.  A highly sought-after seat, but no one was about to contest her choice of the place, as she was seen as "The Short Boy's Friend" and therefore considered about as dangerous as pure potassium in a rainstorm.

There was a chilly breeze blowing in from the direction of the outside world, and Kagome caught some voices in a conversation.

"Have you found it yet?" a soft, sensual voice was saying.  "Or is that girl still harassing you?"

"Kagome?" another snorted.  She immediately perked up at the mention of her name, struggling to listen in to their conversation.  "I've known her for two days, and already I want to kill her."

Angrily, Kagome glared out the window, searching for whoever was speaking, and saw that it was her miniature friend.  Ah, if looks could kill.

"If I did not know better, Hiei, I would say that you like her.  You certainly speak of her often enough," the first voice responded in a smooth, even tone.  _So his name's Hiei,_ Kagome thought, filing the information in the back of her mind.

"Me and a ningen woman?  That is so ridiculous that it is nearly humorous," Hiei answered.  It took a moment for the words to register in Kagome's mind.  _Wait... the way he said that suggests that he isn't human..._  She looked at Hiei suspiciously.

"Isn't that her watching us from the window over there?" his calm companion wondered.

Kagome saw Hiei's eyes widen as they locked onto her own.  She smiled and waved at him, forgetting detention for a moment.  His eyes narrowed into the familiar expression that Kagome now called his "Glare of Doom," and she could almost see the anger lines emanating from him.  Now he turned to his red-headed companion, who was laughing cheerfully, and attacked...

*~*~*

Kagome sat in class impatiently, waiting for the bell to ring.  When it did, she would have ten minutes of free time before she had to go to detention, in which time she intended to speak to Hiei.  Overhearing that conversation he'd had with his friend had given her a thousand new questions to ask him.  She especially wanted to know, what, exactly, he was looking for, though she had a sinking feeling in her stomach that it was contained in a tiny glass jar that she had brought with her from the Feudal Era.  Anyone who referred to her as "ningen" and was searching for something was definitely not the type of person she should be around.

Especially if she was concerned for her life.

She glanced up at the clock and nearly squealed with glee, beginning the ten-second countdown.  There was complete silence for a moment, and then with a clang the bell alerted them all that class was now over.  There was a stampede of students as everyone rushed out of the classroom at once, rushing to get home.  Kagome would be staying for some time yet, so she was in no hurry to leave, as escape couldn't take place for a few hours yet.

She skip-hopped down the hall, searching for her small friend, and finally stumbled upon him when the halls were nearly empty.  He was talking to his red-headed friend from earlier, who was (amazingly) unscathed from their earlier bout.  

"Hello," she greeted them, announcing her presence.  Both of them looked at her, Hiei angrily and the red-head coolly.

"Good afternoon," the red-head said, giving her a sweeping bow.  Kagome gazed at him curiously; there was something strange about him, and now that she was looking for it, Hiei had something similarly odd.  She wondered why she hadn't noticed it before.

"Hn," Hiei stated, barely acknowledging her presence.

For a moment, all three of them stood there, unsure of what to say, and then Kagome remembered her question.  _I know it's none of my business, but..._ "What, exactly, is it that you're looking for?"

Boy.  And she thought that the looks Hiei had given her earlier had been nasty.

"It is a rather private matter," the redhead explained with a shrug.

"Oh.  A guy thing?"  Kagome wondered aloud.  Deciding to ignore the sinking feeling in her stomach, she decided to keep prodding.

"Hn," Hiei agreed, seizing the excuse.  "It is a matter in which a nin--erm, female would not be interested."  The red-head nodded fervently as his friend spoke.

"Oh," Kagome sighed, glancing at her watch.  "Oops!  Time for detention!  Come on, Hiei!"  She reached for his arm, but he moved behind the red-head.  

"I'm not going today, girl," he announced.

"Well, then neither am I, boy," Kagome said in a fair imitation of the diminutive boy.  He scowled at her.

"Hiei, lets get going.  Our rendezvous with the others is in fifteen minutes," the red-head said.  "We'll speak with you later, Kagome!"  With a "hn", Hiei turned and walked away.  His companion leaned closer to Kagome.  "That's his way of saying, 'I'll see you tomorrow,'" he translated.

"I've known him for three days, and I've already figured that much out!" Kagome said with a grin.

The fellow smiled right back at her.  "My name is Kurama, by the way."

"Well, then it was a pleasure meeting you, Kurama."  Kagome flourished her words with a bow.

"Same to you, Lady Kagome."  With those words, he left, leaving Kagome all alone in the halls.

_What to do?  _she thought.  _I don't have many options.  But I do want to know what..._  Her eyes narrowed evilly as she slunk after the two boys, humming the Mission Impossible theme song.

*~*~*

Kagome sighed, wondering if these two would ever reach their destination.  How slow could you get?  She had been following them for nearly an hour.  And they had said that their rendezvous was in fifteen minutes!  That only could mean one thing.  They were super-paranoid and were therefore suspicious that she was tailing them and hoped to hide their deep, dark secret from her by avoiding their friends and...

"It looks as though they have finally arrived," Kurama announced.  _Or maybe their friends were just late..._

"Hn.  It's about time," Hiei snorted.

"Hey, Hiei!  Hey, Kurama!  Sorry I'm late!" a boy in green with slicked-back hair exclaimed, waving to his two friends.

"Did you find the Shikon Jewel yet?" an oversized oaf of a human being shouted in greeting.

"Baka.  Do you want the whole world to know?" Hiei scolded.  Kagome's eyes blanked as she sunk to the ground.  They were after the Shikon Jewel, dammit.  That made them enemies, didn't it?  And just when she'd begun to like her new friend...

"Looks like she already knows," the fellow with slicked-back hair said suddenly.  Kagome let her eyes focus on a black blur in front of her and realized that it was him.  "Are you okay?" He waved his hand in front of her face.  "She's officially zoned out."

The other three gathered around Kagome.  "Is she okay?" the oaf asked.

"How should I know?" Hiei snarled.

"Kagome?" Kurama said, checking her pulse.

Kagome snapped out of her stupor and realized just where she was.  _They say I'm a powerful miko... now WHY CAN'T I VANISH!!!_  She squinted for a moment, struggling to access her powers, to no avail.  Deciding that it would be best to play dumb, she whispered, "What is a Shikon Jewel?  Is it the guy thing you said you were looking for?"

"Wait... I'm confused..." the oaf said, scratching his orange head.

"Hn.  That is nothing new."

"Hey.. wait.  You know them?" the fellow in green asked.

"She's Hiei's girlfriend," Kurama explained.

"Take that back, kitsune, or I swear I will..."

Kagome coughed, reminding them of her presence.  _Kitsune?  What the hell?  Like Shippo?_

"The Shikon Jewel," Kurama began, hopefully about to answer her question.  If they knew what it actually was, that was bad news.  "is a powerful artifact.  It can grant its owner's wish."

"That's it?" she whined.  "It seems a bit... anti-climactic.  After all you guys were doing to try and conceal what you were searching for from me..."

"Hn.  Stupid girl.  There ar--- Augh!  What was that for?" As he spoke, his friend in green had whacked him over the head.

"If she's your girlfriend, show some respect, Hiei," Green-Boy said.

Choosing to ignore his friend's comment, he continued his explanation.  "As I was saying, there are... bad people searching for this Jewel, and just knowing what we seek could attract them to you."

Kagome had always had a bit of an evil side, and now it decided to take over.  "You do care, Hiei!" she giggled, throwing her arms around him.  _You've done it now, Kagome.  You've signed your death warrant._

To her everlasting surprise, he stood there completely still for a moment, then returned the hug, though it was only so that he could get close enough to whisper, "As soon as they're gone, Kagome..."  He let the threat hang on the air.  She just smiled wider and hugged him harder.  _He smells like roast beef..._ she thought.


	4. Day 4: The Caffeine Experiments

**CC:  **Okay.  Hiei smells like roast beef because I just associate it with him.  Naturally, I associate Hiei with fire, and I associate fire with roast beef due to a complicated story involving lizards and my neighbor's house... I'd rather not explain more than that.  Thanks for all your reviews!  Hope you like the new chapter.

**Disclaimer:  **I still own nothing.  Sigh.  But look!  A shiny new penny!  Gasp!  ^^

**The Caffeine Experiments**

Naraku eyed the yellow bag that had been left behind by Kagome when she had last vanished down that well of hers.  It had all sort of miraculous things in it, like the mysterious "Ramen" substance that was that damn half-demon's only weakness.  He knew that if he got his hands on it, he would indeed be the most powerful creature in existence.  He also knew that Inuyasha would most certainly give up his jewel shards in exchange for his precious "Ramen."

With this sinister knowledge, Naraku seized up Kagome's oversized backpack, and staggering at its weight, he ran off at a lopsided sort of gait, trying to balance the weight on his back while "Kukuku"-ing all the way.  _I just adore evil plots like this.  They make things so much more interesting,_ he thought.  Unfortunately for him, he didn't see the Naraku's Bane, conveniently labeled "instant coffee," hanging out of the bag.

*~*~*

Kagome just ran.  She couldn't do anything else; she had seen how inhumanely fast the fellow was.  All she could do was hope that he had given her enough of a head start that she could escape this experience with her life.  Somehow, though, she doubted it.  _Geez.  What's his problem?  It was just a hug!_

As soon as his friends had left her and Hiei alone, saying that he might want some private time with his dearest girlfriend, the diminutive fellow had informed her that he would count to one-hundred slowly before coming after her to kill her in the most unpleasant way possible.  She had no doubt that death was exactly what awaited her when he caught her, too.  The way he had said it made it sound like he was completely and utterly serious.  _Dead serious.  Pardon the pun..._

She didn't know why, but she was running home.  That would be the first place he would be looking for her, and yet she was heading straight there.  _Wait,_ she realized.  _I know a place where he can't follow!  _Kagome had never looked at the well as an escape from trouble on her side, but hadn't she run down it plenty of times to escape to her own time from nasties who were after the jewel shards?

With an evil cackle, she reached the top of the stairs, coming to a complete stop when she saw who was waiting for her, arms crossed over his chest.  His normally adorable face was as still as a stone, cold and furious.  _I am in such big trouble..._

"Hn.  What took you so long?" he jeered.

Kagome took a step back, unaware of three pairs of eyes watching her and Hiei's every move.  Though she didn't hear it, one said, "I was correct!  He does like her!"

"Wait.  Going homicidal on her for a hug is 'liking'?" another voice wondered.

"I'm confused," a third added.

Ignoring the third person, the first person said, "You don't know Hiei like I do, Yusuke."

"I'm still confused," the third voice repeated.

Meanwhile, Kagome clutched the jewel shards she carried, gauging the distance between her and the well.  Hiei stood between her and her safety, but she was certain that she could make it if she really ran.  _The style's called 'Run Like Hell,'_ Kagome thought, _and I am its master._

She had done this often enough.  She could even outrun Inuyasha, when it came down to that.  It was her greatest ability, and she had been practicing it since her first visit to the Feudal Era.  "I can defend myself, ya know," she warned Hiei, drawing back into a fighting stance.  Sango had taught her a few simple moves with which to defend herself, enough that Kagome could make it look as though she knew what she was doing.

He just smiled and moved into a similar stance, beckoning her to attack.  He was prepared for anything... except what she did next.  Kagome came at him full speed, moving from a fighting stance to a running one in mere seconds.  His only reaction was to dodge, sending her off into the old well-house situated behind him at full speed.  _Coward, _he snarled inwardly.  _I wasn't going to harm her before... much... but now..._

He leapt after her, landing at the entrance to the well house, where she was in the process of jumping into the well.  Did she intend to hide?  He easily reached forward and caught her shirt, but he misjudged her weight and lost his balance, flying into the darkness still holding onto her.  _The well is deeper than it appeared at first... _he thought, and then something amazing happened...

*~*~*

Naraku scoured the backpack belonging to Kagome, but found nothing labeled "Ramen."  Clearly, that hanyou had stashed all of the precious substance in some special spot should Naraku attempt something like what he now did.  Silently, Naraku cursed the person who had given that mutt the idea to hide his mysterious Ramen, for the dog couldn't have conceived the idea on his own.  He had most likely needed help for that ingenious idea that so easily foiled Naraku's complex-ly evil plot.

Suddenly, Naraku's eyes fell on a strange package laying on the ground amid piles of clean underwear and miniature kimonos like the one Kagome wore.  It was labeled "instant coffee," whatever that was.  He picked the strange package up, testing its weight.  It felt light as a feather, yet its mass suggested that it should weigh more.  This strange "instant coffee" must have little or no density of its own.  Naraku saw something written on it: "contains caffeine."  Wait.  He had heard of this substance in the past...

_Naraku was watching Kagome and her companions like he usually did, being the freakish stalker that he was.  Normally, he didn't watch them so intently, but Kagura had just suffered yet another crushing defeat at their hands, thanks in part to Kagome's purifying arrow.  What he wished to know was how she managed to be so alert early in the mornings when he himself, powerful as he was, was always at his weakest after just awakening.  Sure, he wasn't a morning person, but in general, he knew that she wasn't either.  Kagome had as much trouble some days waking up as he himself did, yet on others, she was like this._

_Then enlightenment came in the form of Kagome's voice, making a comment to her friends.  "Another victory thanks to caffeine!  I don't know what I would do without it..."_

_Immediately, Naraku had wished for some of this caffeine.  If it could make Kagome as powerful as she was, imagine what it could do to him!  He wouldn't need the Shikon Jewel if he had caffeine!  The only problem was that he didn't know how to get his hands on it._

_Quickly he made a wise decision to keep an eye out for the substance..._

For weeks now he had been hoping to get his hands on the stuff, and now here it was, the source of Kagome's power!  With a quick, "Kukuku!" Naraku began reading the instructions for eating the coffee on the back of the package.  Soon he learned that all he had to do was mix it with hot water.  One part coffee to four parts water.  Quickly he had a simmering vat of the stuff, smelling delicious in an addictive way.  _That is the smell of power!_

Naraku looked at the instructions on the side of the bag and immediately saw that the serving size was one cup, whatever that was.  With a shrug, he downed the whole thing.  For a moment, he stood there stunned, his eyes closed as his body ingested the liquid power.  "Wowowowow!  Icanfeelthepoweralready!" he cried, opening his eyes, which were now veined with brown coffee...  "NowthatIminvincibleIdontneedtheJewelanymorebuttheyllbecomingforitthenIcangetthem!!!"  Kagura watched her master from around a corner, wondering exactly what he was saying.

*~*~*

Inuyasha rubbed his sore back, which still ached from the last time Kagome had visited him a few days ago.  Struggling to his feet, he headed outside, suddenly catching a very familiar scent on the wind.  She was back!  With an evil grin that suggested revenge, he headed off towards the well, not even noticing the other scent that the wind carried, that of a demon.

*~*~*

"Get off me, you..." Kagome threatened.  She wasn't quite sure who was on top of her, only that someone was, and it was bugging her to death.  She was laying flat out on her stomach, with the other person similarly situated on top of her, effectively pushing her down into the mud that was at the bottom of the well.

"And what if I don't want to?" a male's voice drawled, presumably that of the person laid across her back.  Kagome knew that voice.  _Hiei._

Kagome rolled over, managing to knock him off her into the mud.  Now they both looked like some sort of marsh demons, Hiei more so because his eyes appeared red in the light.  She also noticed coolly that the bandanna he always wore around his forehead was gone, revealing a third eye.  _Probably a tattoo,_ she decided.

"Oi, wench!  It is you," a most unwelcome spectator announced.  He was looking into the well, dangled precariously over the edge in such a way that...

"Sit, Inuyasha!" Kagome yelled, effectively bringing the half-demon down to her level with a satisfying splat.  He landed on top of Hiei, killing two birds with one stone.  Kagome made her way out of the well quickly, heading straight back to the village.  She hoped that Inuyasha hadn't hurt Hiei too much by falling on him, but it was a necessary evil.  She ran to the village, hoping that the two of them hadn't recovered yet.  Inside Kaede's hut was safety.  The elderly woman had declared this when she had realized that otherwise no one would ever stop arguing long enough for her to speak with them seriously.

She made it, where she saw Sango and Miroku sitting at opposite sides of the room, Miroku rubbing a lump on his head while Sango menacingly polished her boomerang.  Kaede was seated next to Miroku, speaking with the monk.  She was saying something about keeping his hands to himself.  He just grinned and shrugged, receiving a glare from Kaede.

"Hello," Kagome said, causing all their eyes to be focused on her.  They were all staring.  _No, not at me,_ she realized.  _At the black-clad hand perched on my shoulder._  

"I still owe you for that hug," Hiei informed her coldly.  His headband was back in its proper position, covering that disturbing tattoo.

"Hug?  And you say I'm cheating on you with Kikyou?!" Inuyasha screeched.  It looked as though both of them had followed her from the well.

"Um... Kaede's hut is a safe zone?" She suggested.  Hiei's hand tightened on her shoulder, but he said nothing more.  Inuyasha bit the small fellow's hand, probably his way of saying, "Get your hands off her!"  Suddenly, Hiei pushed Kagome away from him, sending Inuyasha his Glare of Death, which she was quite familiar with.  However, this time it seemed much more dangerous.  Even Kagome could see the unspoken threat behind it.

Kaede was the one that broke the tension.  "Who's your friend, Kagome?"

"His name is Hiei," Kagome began, but was interrupted by said person.

"And he can speak for himself," Hiei said.  Inuyasha moved closer to Kagome, wrapping his arms around her protectively.  Hiei notice this, and continued.  "He would also like to inform the hanyou that if he doesn't remove his hands from Kagome, he will have them removed."

Kagome watched as their gazes met, locked together, and then to her surprise, Inuyasha turned away, overwhelmed by the intensity of the smaller boy's glower.  He released her slowly, backing away.

"Kagome... where are we?" Hiei now asked, his voice deadly calm.

"The Feudal Era of Japan," she explained.  "We fell through the well.  Probably the fact that you were holding onto me as I fell caused you to join me here."

"Hn.  And you are able to travel through time because...?

"Well, you know how you and your friends are searching for the Shikon Jewel?" She paused, waiting for him to nod his head.  "Well, you see, I'm its guardian... except I sort of... shattered it."  Kagome held up her Jewel fragments so that he could see.  "Right now, we're collecting the shards of it to restore the whole Jewel.  Only there's a very powerful baddie named Naraku who's after them.  It would be in your best interests if I just gave you one of these so you could go home."

Hiei scowled at her for a moment before opening his mouth to speak, but before he could do so, there was a knock at the door of Kaede's hut, and without waiting for anyone to answer, Kagura the wind demon entered.

"Hello," she said, ignoring open-mouthed stares.

Inuyasha drew Tetsusaiga, but before he could attack, Kaede shrieked, "Safe hut!  Remember what happened last time there was a fight in here?  I don't intend to rebuild my home again!"  She stood between Inuyasha and Kagura, though the half-demon wasn't affected in the least.  He lunged at the wind demon and would have hit her, too, had he not crashed into the ground when Kagome told him to "sit."

"What do you want, Kagura?" Kagome asked, wary of the red-eyed woman.

"I extend to you and a friend Naraku's most humble invitation," Kagura explained.

"Invitation to...?"

"My master wishes for you to come to the castle for a friendly game of cards."

"Cards?" Kagome exclaimed.

"Indeed.  I fear my master may be... an arrow short of a full quiver, if you know what I mean," the demon sighed.

"We shouldn't go," Sango said, fingering her boomerang.  "Knowing Naraku, it's probably some intricate plot."

"Who said you were invited?" Kagura taunted.  "I am only to deliver the invitation to Lady Kagome."

"I don't see how you can make a trap using a card game..." Kagome murmured.

Hiei said nothing.  He was just watching them like they were all mad.  As a matter of fact, they all probably were.

"It is no trap," Kagura assured her.  "Naraku wishes to gamble for the remaining Jewel Shards, as you are the only party aside from he himself who still possess them.  He feels that a fight would be pointless."

"Jewel Shard poker..." Kagome mused.  "How... odd of him."

"Actually, if you wish to be technical, it is more of a Jewel Shard version of 'Go Fish,'" Kagura informed Kagome.

"Oh."

"Three O'clock sharp.  You know the place.  Naraku will be expecting you to bring Lemon Squares."  Kagura turned to leave.  "Oh, yes.  Bring a friend.  The more the merrier.  Naraku says that you may not bring Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, the kit, Lady Kaede, Kilala, or that wolf, Kouga, but any other friend is fine."

With those words, she was gone, leaving Kagome alone with her friends.

"Don't go, Lady Kagome.  I fear a trap," Miroku warned her.  Even though his gaze was locked onto her own, Kagome could see that he was inching his way towards Sango, bit by bit, so slowly that she hadn't even noticed.

"Indeed.  It is without a doubt a trap to steal the Jewel shards."  Now Sango had noticed the monk's proximity and neatly bopped his hand, which was a bit too close to her derriere for comfort.

"Gambling for Jewel shards... this quest could be over in a matter of hours!" Kagome cried joyfully.

"If you ask me," Inuyasha drawled, "you shouldn't go.  You can't take any of us.  Who does that leave?  Sessoumaru?  If he didn't kill you, he would be more trouble than he's worth.  He doesn't even know how to play cards!"

"Inuyasha, ye has a point," Kaede stated.  "However, perhaps we should contact your brother."

"It doesn't make any difference how skilled the card player is.  I'll bet Naraku will have an incarnation playing with him.  One able to see your hand," Sango said, bringing up a valid point.  "Naraku isn't about to play fair."

"Hn.  Then neither should you," Hiei suddenly piped in.  Everyone looked at him suspiciously.

"What do you mean?" Kagome wondered.  "It's not like one of us can prevent him from seeing what's in our hands.  Or even return the favor!  And even if one of my friends could, they can't come."

"This... Naraku fellow left one of your... friends... out of his plans," Hiei told her.  The way he said friend, it sounded like he didn't like the idea of being associated with Kagome.

"Hiei, if you're talking about yourself, you can't come... do you realize how powerful Naraku is?" Kagome asked.

Instead of answering her, Hiei turned to Sango.  "You're a demon exterminator, correct?"

"Hai."

"I thought so.  You wear their uniform."

"How is this significant to the matter at hand?" Miroku questioned.

"Have you heard of the Jagan Eye?"

Sango froze.  "Back away from him very slowly, Kagome."

"What does that mean?" Kagome said.

"It means that he's a demon, and a very dangerous one at that."  Sango had gotten to her feet and now clutched her boomerang.

"Does it also mean that he can help us?"

Reluctantly, Sango answered.  "...hai."  She was so focused on glaring at Hiei that she didn't even notice as Miroku's hand gave her rear a good, firm squeeze.

"Come on, Hiei, lets go.  Do you know how to play cards?"


	5. Day 5: Lemon, the Ultimate Comfort Food

**Disclaimer: **I had twenty dollars.  Now I have a battery for my camcorder.  *waves good-bye to her twenty*  I still don't own YYH or IY, and I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, either.

**Lemon: The Ultimate Comfort Food**

Nervously, Kagome entered Naraku's courtyard, her only solace the petite demon behind her.  Well, him and the lemon squares.  She loved lemon, especially when it was in regular geometric shapes, such as triangles or squares.  Lemon was almost as good as chocolate...

"Hn," Hiei coughed, bringing her back to reality.

"We're here," she whispered.  She had been here too many times *not* to be uncomfortable; this was the place where an entire pack of wolf demons had been slain, the place where Inuyasha and Kouga had fought a battle nearly to the death, the place where... oh, she couldn't remember.  But it was bad.

"Good afternoon, Kagome and... Kagome's companion," a woman with a deep voice said smoothly.  Kagura.  The wind apparition bowed before opening the door into Naraku's fortress for the two of them.

Kagome bowed to her as she passed, though Hiei just nodded his head, a frown on his face.  He seemed more focused on examining her to be certain that she didn't offer a threat to his "friend."

Kanna was waiting for the two of them as they entered the castle, Kagome clutching her lemon squares as though they were the only thing protecting her from Naraku's wrath.  Hiei was nervous as well; his hand was poised above his blade in a ready-to-draw position.

The two of them entered a smallish room containing nothing more than a low table and cushions upon which they were clearly to sit.  Two others were already seated at the table; one Kagome recognized as Naraku, and the other she didn't know.

Naraku had a solemn look on his face, even as he pulled a packet of cards out of his kimono ("Hey!" Kagome thought.  "Those are mine from back home!") and began shuffling them, all while staring at the two of them calmly.  His companion, most likely the apparition that Sango had predicted would be awaiting them, was equally sober.

All-in-all, it was a very somber image, or at least until Naraku opened his mouth.  "Iseethatyouhavearrived!" he announced quickly.  Kagome couldn't understand a word he was saying.

"Um," she murmured, exchanging a look with a confused Hiei.

**_This_**_ is the all-powerful demon Kagome was referring to?  _Hiei wondered.

"What Master Naraku would like to say is that he sees that you have arrived, Kagome," the figure beside him said.

"Oh..."

"And you are?" Hiei snarled virulently.

"I'm one of Naraku's apparitions.  The name's Bob," he said, holding out a hand to Kagome.  She took it and shook it nervously, wondering what in the world this fellow could do.

"Bob?"

"Yes.  Bob," he reiterated.

"Pleasure to meet you, Bob..." Was it just her, or was Naraku losing it?

"And your friend is...?"

"Hn," Hiei snorted, looking away.

"'Hn.'  What an interesting name.  Was your mother on drugs when she gave it to you?" Bob joked.  He never even saw the fist that collided with his face, knocking him back.  Kagome elbowed Hiei, reminding him to mind his manners.

"SoIseeyoufoundacompanionforyourgame?" Naraku commented casually, his mouth still moving at a million miles a minute.

"Um... Sure!" Kagome wasn't certain what she was agreeing to, but she thought that she had heard something about a pickled broom.  She **could** be wrong, though.

"Andyoubroughtlemonsquaresmyfavorites!" Naraku cried, eyeing her precious squares, which she clutched tightly to her chest.  These were *hers*.  She snarled at him as his hand crept towards her plate of the treats.

Hiei, seeing Naraku's hand moving in the direction of Kagome, drew his katana.  "Touch her and you'll never touch anything again," he threatened.

Kagome, seeing the sudden tenseness that filled the room, promptly said, "Lets play cards, shall we?"

*

Hiei and Kagome watched as Naraku and his apparition took their turn.  "You sunk my battleship!" Bob exclaimed as Naraku did an impression of a fish.  This was the most complex game Kagome had ever seen; it wasn't the Go Fish she was accustomed to.  It had taken all of thirty seconds for the two teams to realize that they were playing two completely different games; while Kagome and Hiei played Go Fish in a traditional sense, Naraku and Bob were playing some sort of early version of Yu-Gi-Oh cards.

First, Bob would play a card face-down on the table, then Naraku would play an ace while crying "Go, my precious Blue-Eyes!"  Then when Kagome or Hiei had attempted to do the same thing, they had been informed that they were cheating.  Naturally, Naraku and Bob were winning, as they actually knew the rules of the game.  At least Naraku was talking more normally.

That's when Kagome noticed it; every time Naraku played a card, he made some sort of ridiculously overdone movement with his arms as he did so.  She watched him closely as he placed the six of spades on the board calling, "Dark Magician!"

Making up her own crazy movements, a complex series of twisting and turning her entire body with extreme caution, she finally drew a card at random from her hand and played it on the board with a much overdone shout of, "Exodia!"

"NOOO!" Naraku shrieked, doubling over as he clutched his head.  "How could I have lost?  I had every advantage!  How could I have known that she knew the ultimate card's dance?"

He writhed in pain on the ground for a moment before Bob noticed what he was doing and began mimicking his movements.  The two of them were like that until Kagome tentatively tapped Naraku on his shoulder.  "Excuse me," she murmured softly.

"I HAVE LOST!!!" Naraku screamed, causing Kagome to cover her ears.  Hiei just watched the whole scene, nervous that he had been infected by their insanity.

"Excuse me, Naraku," Kagome repeated.

"HOW COULD I HAVE LOST?!!" Naraku hollered, hurting Kagome's ears even more.  Her eye twitched.

"NARAKU!" she yelled in his ear.  That stopped him.  Immediately sedated, he sat up, bopping Bob as he did so to prevent the fellow from continuing his agonistic writhing.

"Yes?" he sounded perfectly calm.

"I won.  Jewel Shards, please." She extended her hand to him.

"Who says you won?" Naraku wondered aloud.

"You just did!"

"Did I?"

"Hanyou, give her the shards and be done with it," Hiei snorted disdainfully.

"You didn't win!" Naraku denied.

"As a matter of fact, we did.  You were just writhing on the ground in agony a moment ago **shouting** it."

"No I wasn't."  Naraku was clearly the King of Denial.

"Yes you were," Kagome retorted.

"Hn.  Don't lower yourself to his level, Kagome," Hiei said.

"Well, it doesn't matter!  Bob!" Naraku called.  Immediately, the apparition stood and shoved Kagome and Hiei back into a closet, locking the door with a click.

"Hey!" Kagome cried through the door.  It was dark in here... and stuffy... and small...

"Serves you right!" Naraku's jeer was muffled by the door.  "You cheated, I know it!"

"Great," Kagome mumbled.

"Yes, isn't it marvelous?  I absolutely adore this closet," Naraku stated.  "It's another incarnation of mine, you know.  I like to call it my 'Closet of Doom.'"

"And..?"

"It's really, really small!  Kukuku!"

"I fail to see the 'Doom' in your statement," Kagome drawled.

"Kukuku!  I think that your claustrophobic friend is finding this far more trying than you!"  Naraku laughed.  _Wait.  Claustrophobic friend?_

Kagome's eyes had adapted to the darkness, and now she saw Hiei, huddled up on the ground, his legs pulled to his chest as he shivered there.  "So... small..." he stuttered.

Kagome heard Naraku leaving the room and then realized that she and Hiei were going to be in there for a *long* time.  _Would that really be so bad?  _she wondered.  _No, wait.  This is just a Closet of Doom. Now if it were a Janitor's Closet of Doom...._

Meanwhile, Hiei was wondering what had gone wrong.  He, who fought demons on a daily basis.  He, who should be unafraid of anything.  He, who was terrified of small spaces.  At least he was with Kagome.

_At least I'm with someone I like, _both of them thought in unison, though neither was about to come out and say it...


	6. Day 6: A Psychological Breakthrough

**CC: **Finally, I've managed to write another chapter, though it took Spring Break and various threats from one of my friends to make me do so... Sorry about the wait everyone!  Hope this lives up to the other chapters... I've changed the format on the other chapters because it was bugging me, as well as a few minor grammatical errors.

**Disclaimer: **This is... what?  The sixth time I've written this?  I think you've got the message by now.

**A Psychological Breakthrough**

He was doing it again.  He was spinning in circles.  Kagura wasn't quite certain when this had begun, or why he continued to do it.  All she knew was that it annoyed the hell out of her, and she wanted it to stop.

Whenever Naraku was idle, generally waiting for one of his evil plots to be foiled by Kagome and crew, he spun in circles.  It was a nervous habit, like speaking rapidly or picking one's nose, only this was *far* more annoying.  It almost made Kagura want to scream.

Fortunately, she had more self-control than that.

"Why don't you check your book again, Naraku?" Kagura suggested.  Anything to stop that infernal spinning!

"Ah, yes," he agreed, ceasing his motion.  The sudden stop drew a sigh of relief from Kagura's lips.  Naraku reached into the sleeve of his shirt and pulled out a single yellow-and-black striped volume.  It was like Naraku's Bible, that little book.  

"Ah, my friend," Naraku prayed to it.  "You who were there in my greatest hour of need, serve me again.  May you be there beside me, whether I be in sickness or health, and may you always be there to inspire me when my lesser mind fails."

Kagura groaned.  Did he have to say that stupid prayer *every* time he pulled out that book?

Naraku opened the volume and flipped through it, finally coming to a stop on the chapter labeled "Chapter 9.352: The Foiling of the Plot" and read aloud.

"After putting your evil plot into motion (see Chapter 3.141), you must **always** give your opponent a chance to escape, thus 'Foiling the Plot.'  This will always happen; it is inevitable, as the 'hero' possesses an uncanny ability to ravage (see Webster's Dictionary) the most well-laid schemes.  However, do not lose heart.  After the hero has escaped your clutches, you may do any (or all) of the following..."

With those words, Naraku cradled the book to his heart.  Kagura just rolled her eyes.  "Hmph.  Villainy for Dummies.  How ridiculous."

She strode away, anxious to leave her crazed master's presence.  He was getting too disturbing for her tastes.

*

Hiei rocked back and forth on the floor of the closet.  "So... tiny... can't... breath..." he mumbled, his eyes locked straight ahead.

"You said that already," Kagome informed him irritably.

"But it's so small..." he whined.  _Geeze.  Lock a tough guy in a closet and he becomes a wuss?  How strange... _Kagome thought.

"Lets talk about something else," Kagome suggested.

"Like?"

"Tell me about your family," Kagome said with a shrug.  She had always wanted to know a bit more about the boy; perhaps this was her answer.

"I don't really have one," he said rapidly, though not nearly as quickly as Naraku on caffeine had spoken as he looked around the miniature closet.  "But I have friends.  You've met them.  There's only four of us, so our group is small.  Like this closet."

Kagome rubbed her temples as she sat down beside Hiei.  This was going to be difficult.

"So tell me about your friends, then," Kagome ordered, hesitantly rubbing his back.  That was always pleasant when you were feeling terrified.

"There's Yusuke.  He's the leader.  And Kurama.  I trust him.  And there's Kuwabara..." Hiei stated, his fear gradually beginning to diffuse.

"Go on," Kagome urged him, not realizing that she would regret it in a moment.

"Well, Kuwabara is an idiot, so sometimes I call him Kuwabaka.  And he is in love with Yukina.  She is my sister.  And he can sense things well for a human, but he is an idiot, so it really does not count, and I really dislike him, and..." Hiei would have said more, but he noticed the odd way Kagome was looking at him and shut his mouth.

Well.  There it went.  He had said more in those past few moments than she had ever heard him say before, and now he was silent again.  Damn.

Not that it mattered to Kagome.  At least he had stopped quaking like a leaf in a tornado.  Now he resembled a leaf on a windy day, and he was considering her with a curious expression etched on his face.

"Tell me a bit about yourself," he finally ordered Kagome, breaking the silence between them.  

"Wait.  What about your story?" Kagome protested.

"I would much rather hear a tale I do not know," he answered with a glare that was vaguely reminiscent of the ones he had given her while they were in their own time.

"Alright..." Kagome said.  Now how to begin?  She could start at the beginning of her life, but that would be dull.  She could start with her first fall down the well, though she had a strange feeling that he wouldn't want to hear about her misadventures with Inuyasha.  She could just discuss her family in general... "Well, I have a mother, a brother, Souta, and a grandfather.  I also have a father, but I don't really know where he is right now.  Then I have my friends from school, Yuka, Eri, and Ayumi, who are **constantly** matchmaking.  It's very frustrating..."

She trailed off, her eyes catching his reddish-brown ones, and she shivered.  At that instant, she knew something.  Something she hadn't even imagined possible.

"I have to tell you something, Hiei..." she began.

Suddenly, the closet door was opened, saving Kagome from any more tedious pondering.  "You two are free to go," a woman sighed.  It was Kagura.

Kagome blinked a few times before muttering, "Thanks, I think..."

"Just... go.  So then he can stop waiting for you to escape.  It's terribly annoying," Kagura drawled.

"We're free... just like that?" Kagome wondered.

"Yes.  Now go!"

With those words, Kagura pointed to the door, sending the two of them on their merry way.  Kagome led a still-quivering Hiei, arm around his shoulders, to the exit.

Once the two of them were outside, she turned to Hiei.  "Now *that* was an interesting experience."

"Hn."

Great.  Back to his talkative self.  And she had been on the point of a major breakthrough!

"So..." she sighed.  "Back to square one..."

"What did you need to tell me?"

Kagome's eyes widened.  He had been listening?  Had **she** been claustrophobic, she wouldn't have even been listening to anyone else had they been speaking with her.  She would have been too preoccupied quivering in fear.  Apparently, Hiei was different.  That was bad for her.

"Nothing!" she laughed nervously, feeling shameful heat in her cheeks.  "Race you back to Kaede's?"

*

"They have escaped, Master Naraku," Kagura announced to her master, bowing.

"Yes!" he squealed, but then, seeing the critical stares he was receiving from his evil minion, he became more sober.  "Allow me to consult the Mighty Book!"

Reaching into his shirt, he drew out the yellow-and-black volume from before, holding it to the sky.  He could almost imagine a light from Heaven shining down onto the booklet as angels praised it with sweet voices that were, well, angelic.  He was so focused on gazing at the book appreciatively, he didn't even notice Kagura viciously attack it with a match after dampening it with some gasoline.  All that he saw was the book suddenly bursting into flames.

"Nooooo!" he cried, immediately dousing the book, but he was too late.  The book was already deceased, burned black and sooty.  He clutched the little thing to his heart in mourning before dropping to his knees as he held the book to the sky and screamed, "NOOOOOOO!"

*

Kagura's eye twitched.  How could her master be so... sophomoric and immature?  She was tempted to tear the black veil of mourning from her face and jump up and down on it.  Unfortunately, were she do this, she might quickly leave Naraku with more to mourn than just a book.

"It was a loyal book," Bob stated solemnly.  He probably wanted to be here about as much as Kagura did, though he was doing a considerably better job of playing sad than she was.  "And, um... it was loyal."

With those words, he stepped away from the coffin Naraku had made for the volume and stood beside Kagura.

Now Naraku stood before them.  "This book was Precious to me.  Yet it was beautiful.  Too beautiful for this world, I suppose..." he began sobbing as he spoke.  How ridiculous could one event get?  Kagura snorted indignantly.  Immediately, Naraku looked up.  "Was that an indignant snort?"

"No, Master Naraku.  It was an attempt to stop the tears from flowing from these eyes of mine," Kagura improvised.  Her master came forwards and embraced her.

"I understand how you feel," he comforted her.  She nearly snorted again but caught herself.  She didn't want any more hugs.

*

Hiei sat in Kaede's hut, grumbling to himself.  Kagome had refused to return home with him, though she had left him the shard with which he could do so alone.  He wished that she was there with him; that way, he could complain to her.

Sadly, she had run off to go take a bath with her demon-slaying friend and left him behind to keep an eye on the devious monk who could be called by no other name than "Miroku."

He had heard a few tales of Miroku's exploits from Kagome when she had explained his mission to him: to prevent the monk from spying on the bathers.  He hadn't realized just how cunning this fellow could be, though.  Miroku had tried everything to escape Hiei's gaze, from simple distraction ("Look!  It's a bald eagle!") to throwing the fox kit into his face and running.

Unfortunately, Hiei was too intelligent to fall for the eagle trick, and the fox kit... well, he had caught it before it had struck him and similarly caught the monk.  Finally, Miroku had gone to sleep, snoring softly.  That had made Hiei's task considerably easier.

Sighing, Hiei stood and stretched his legs, walking outside into the sun for a bit of fresh air.  With a yawn, he stretched his arms to the sky... and froze as a sense of something **bad** reached him.  He turned back into the hut, but he was too slow.  The devious monk was already gone, leaving him alone.

He closed his eyes, smelling the wind momentarily before catching and following the monk's scent.

Within moments, he had caught up with the monk, only to find him speaking with Kagome's friend, Sango.  Something was wrong.

"...and they took her away!" Sango exclaimed, waving her boomerang about in a menacing gesture no doubt warning the monk to keep his hands to himself.

"Who?" Hiei snarled.

"Kagome!" Miroku sighed as though it was obvious.  "She's **always** the one they kidnap!  They always go for the lovely young women..."

Hiei's eyes narrowed.  "What happened?"

"Well," Sango said.  "We were bathing, and suddenly demons descended upon us!  A couple of Ice apparitions.  Very pretty girls, really.  Anyhow, they said something about needing a miko, knocked Kagome unconscious, and fled!  Just like that!"

"Hn."

"Miroku, how can we save her?" Sango cried, turning back to the monk.

He stood silently musing for a moment before opening his mouth to speak, though Hiei spoke first.  "I suggest we find and slay them all, thus teaching them a valuable lesson in stealing the property of others."

"We can't do that!  It's ludicrous to attack them!  They travel in vast groups!  Even if they **were** weak, we would be overwhelmed by their sheer numbers!" Sango protested.

"We need an insider," Miroku suggested.

For an instant, Hiei suspected that the monk was about to do something awful, but he shrugged off the feeling an nodded along.  "Hn."

"Someone who can infiltrate their ranks unnoticed."

"Hn."

"Someone female, as every Ice apparition I've ever seen has been a lovely lady."

"Hn."

"Someone small, but strong enough to defend herself should the need arise."

"Hn."

"Someone who can reign in her temper."

"Hn."

"Someone who is intelligent."

"Hn."

"Someone who cares for Kagome."

"Hn."

"But where are we to find such a woman?" Miroku finally sighed.  "Sango is too tall to blend in properly."

"Yes.  We would need someone of Kagome's stature," Sango sighed.  Why did this speech sound rehearsed?  Hiei was suddenly unnerved by the way the two of them were staring at him.

The three of them stood there motionless for a few moments before Sango finally said, "So... Hiei... how do you feel about skirts?"

That was it.  He was leaving.  He turned to go and found his way blocked by the hanyou friend of Kagome's, Inuyasha.  Damn.

The dog grabbed Hiei and thrust the smaller demon over his shoulder with a grin before dragging him back to Kaede's hut, the petite fellow kicking and yelling the whole way.

*

Naraku looked up from the coffin of his book.  He could have sworn he'd heard an inhuman scream...

*~*~*

**CC: ***staring at screen wide-eyed* Well.  The Hiei thing was... unexpected.

**Dancing Bagel: **And you were smoking WHAT when you wrote this story?

**CC: **Heh heh... Well, thanks for the reviews, everyone!


	7. Day 7: Many, Many, Many, MANY Plotters

**CC: **I feel guilty about the mysterious lack of updates here... So, yeah.

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing.

**Many, Many, Many, MANY Plotters**

It was pink, long, and breezy, and he didn't like the feeling it gave him at all. The way it billowed around his ankles when the wind blew was most unpleasant, though he had been assured that it wouldn't do so normally. However, they had been unable to find a skirt small enough to fit him, so they had simply tied a large one up at the waist with a rope so it hung on.

In that moment, he hated the miko, especially as she had been the reason he was now forced to endure such chagrin. How could she have gotten captured?

He wrinkled his nose and with a sigh, wiped the rouge from his mouth. He wouldn't even wear that for his friend Kurama; what made those damn humans think he'd do it for Kagome? Though admittedly, she did have a certain charm, and the way she smiled at him with those white teeth...

Not that he was attracted to her in any way.

He began to stroll, using the feminine gait Sango had shown him. He needed practice. Had one not known better, though, one might have assumed that he was enjoying it.

Then he saw her: she was reflected in a puddle of water, her bright reddish eyes glaring up at him. She looked rather nice, with her ebony hair contained in that magenta scarf and her rose kimono hanging about her tiny figure. He blinked, and she did the same. He leaned forwards, and she imitated him. Suddenly, a sickening feeling in his stomach told him that this was no ordinary maiden: he wondered if her name was Hiei.

It was about then that he heard a female's voice calling a greeting to Sango and Miroku. "Nice to see you two!" she exclaimed. As his back was to the speaker, he turned and found himself face-to-face... with Kagome.

She stared at him openly for a few moments, her jaw dropping in alarm before she turned scarlet. "Hiei? Is that you? I had... no idea you were into that sort of thing..."

All the previous glares he had turned on living beings were no match for the fiery heat of the look he now turned on the monk and demon exterminator, who cowered behind her companion. He didn't have to say anything. They already knew that they were dead.

"Now might be a good time to make our exit," Miroku suggested. Both of them turned and ran. He could catch them later.

"What was that about?" Kagome wondered. How could this have happened? How could he have gotten coerced into such humiliation? He was already plotting her friends' demises.

"You saw nothing," he answered, and fled before she could ask more questions. Denial was one of two ways to solve his problem; the other would be to kill all witnesses to the incident, and he didn't want to harm Kagome in any way, for some odd reason. Not as though he was attracted to such an ugly girl at all.

In about ten minutes, he was back to his old self, and already plotting how to get back at Sango and Miroku. Death by sword was too good for them. Perhaps if he were to lock them away together for a long period of time, they would kill each-other. They certainly seemed to argue enough... He grinned maniacally as he perfected his plan.

The following day, he slipped up beside Miroku like a shadow. It took a few moments for the monk to notice him, but suddenly the man turned towards him and his jaw dropped. "Hiei? Where did you come from?"

"Hn. I have a message for you," he answered.

"Oh. I'm sorry about yesterday, but Sango and I thought that you would look..."

"You are forgiven," Hiei lied as he ushered the monk to his feet. It had taken much observation to come up with this plan, not to mention massive amounts of sugar to rally certain parties to his cause.

"What might this message be?" the monk inquired. It had taken keen observation, but Hiei had discovered the monk's weak point: beautiful women. And so he had built this plan about that concept.

"Hn. There is a beautiful woman in yonder hut," he stated, indicating the sturdiest shack he had been able to find. Now he prepared himself for the longest speech of his life. "She requires the aid of a monk with a matter of utmost importance, and says that she will do anything to thank him for completing this task, even--"

"You need say no more! Being the noble man that I am, I shall aid her in her plight!" he cried. As an aside, he asked, "You did say she was beautiful, correct?"

"Hn." The monk was gone, running off. Now to send the woman there as well... Hopefully his accomplice could distract the monk for the necessary amount of time.

Sango was chattering away with Kagome when Hiei arrived on the scene. This was trouble; Kagome might be caught up in his vengeance as well if he wasn't cautious. He decided to listen in to their conversation before making his appearance.

"...ght he liked me back, but if he's cross-dressing, he's probably more attracted to Inu... I never throughout I'd be put in this sort of situation before," Kagome was saying.

"Inu's the better one for you, Kagome," Sango stated. "He may be a violent maniac, but at least he's a predictable violent maniac, unlike..."

"Hiei!" Kagome exclaimed suddenly as she looked right at him. Oops. Cat was out of the bag.

"Good afternoon Kagome, Sango," he stated. The gears of his devious mind were turning rapidly, but he still didn't have a way to send Sango off without including Kagome. His original plot, "There's a demon in that shack!" would no longer work, as Kagome would go along to "help", and his assistant probably couldn't distract Miroku for much longer.

_So if a lie won't work, why not try the truth?_ he pondered.

"Sango, Miroku wishes for you to meet him in that shack immediately," he informed her. A diluted version of the truth...

Sango ran off in that direction, a concerned look on her face. That worked well. So busy gloating in his success, he forgot the wild card, Kagome.

"Why do you look like you've just done something terribly evil?" Kagome inquired.

"Hn," he stated, using his universal response.

"Did you do something to Sango?"

"..."

"Hiei!" she scolded before running after Sango.

She was about to ruin his revenge! He leapt after her, hugged her, and stated, "I simply wanted to spend some time with you." He nearly winced. Lying to those... liars... didn't matter to him, but to Kagome...

"...why do you have fox ears?" Miroku asked suddenly. "And why a... tail? Is that you, Shippo?" His eyes narrowed, and suddenly he suspected that there were forces at work here which he didn't quite understand.

Before the fox could respond, Sango stumbled onto the scene. "What's wrong, Miroku?"

That being his cue, Shippo reverted to his original state and with a quick shout of, "Bye!" ran outside, shutting the door behind him.

"What was that about?" Sango wondered.

"I can only wonder. Lets go catch him and ask him about it," Miroku answered simply. Only one thing he hadn't factored into his plans: the door was locked.

"I need an idea," Naraku sighed, "but the mighty book has been destroyed, and my coffee consumed."

Kagura rolled her eyes in a silent plea for help.

Kanna whispered one word to her master: "Look." She held her mirror up to his face and showed him an image of Kagome's kit seated atop what looked to be a mountain of something white and granulated with a blissful smile on his face.

"That... is POWER!" Naraku exclaimed.

_Shit. Here we go again... _Kagura moaned.

Kanna removed her mirror from Naraku's face and began switching the image rapidly on the screen. "There is nothing interesting on in the daytime..." she stated in her usual detached voice...

They sat there in silence, pondering their escape. "I suppose we could get out if we really tried..."

"Yes, but would escape truly be worth destroying some poor person's home?" Sango pointed out again.

"Indeed. And I believe he will release us eventually..."

"I don't know... he seems like the type to hold a grudge," Sango groaned, rubbing her forehead.

"Who are you talking about?"

"Hiei! Who are you talking about?" Sango exclaimed, frustrated.

"Shippo..." Miroku responded. "Though come to think of it, Hiei is the one who asked me to come here."

"He asked me to come here as well..."

"Could it have something to do with yesterday?"

"I can't think of another reason... can you?" Sango said, exhasperated by her friend.

"Nope... Unless calling him a midgit behind his back counts. And the first time I saw him, I thought he was female. And then yesterday, as a joke of course, I asked him to bear my children. And then there was that time when..."

Sango groaned. _He's not attracted to anything female... he's so desperate he'll go for anything in a skirt._

Naraku went over the plan again. "Kagura, you will help me to gather the power while Kanna distracts the kit. It will be like stealing candy from a baby, only considerably more complicated..."

**CC: **Now I have SEVEN chapters!

**Dancing Bagel: **...You're running out of ideas, CC...

**CC: **No I'm not! It's just that...

**Dancing Bagel: **YOU ARE SO LOSING IT!

**CC: **You wanna go back in the freezer?


End file.
